


Jayne's Big Surprise

by purpleshrub (Viola25)



Category: Firefly
Genre: Deliberate Badfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 22:58:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viola25/pseuds/purpleshrub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Badfic, Mary Sue. Serenity's crew will never be the same!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jayne's Big Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> A friend and I were discussing the ticks in fanfic that annoy us (everything from intrusive authorial insertions to cliche names--"Why is everything named Haven?"--to over-modified dialogue tags and waaay too many exclamation marks). We found a Mary Sue generator, which netted me this prompt:
> 
> Name-Kimberlee Havenworth  
> Eyes- Silver sapphire  
> Hair-Tousled gold  
> Signature scent-Dewy peaches  
> Paranormal power-Astral Projection  
> Distinguishing mark-Flawless skin  
> Relationship to a canon character-Long-lost twin
> 
> My friend never finished the SG1 badfic I dared her to write, but this was my offering to her. I didn't include atrocious spelling/grammar/punctuation, but most of my other pet peeves are in here (the sheer number of adverbs alone is funny to me). I can't exactly say "enjoy", but I hope you get a kick out of it!

Jayne spotted her first, and gave a long, low whistle. They'd come to this planet, a really dry planet with dust blowing everywhere, which got in their eyes as soon as they stepped off  _Serenity_ , because Mal got a tip that there were jobs available here, and the town which was called "Haven" looked more prosperous than towns usually looked on these crummy little border planets. But Jayne was pretty sure the woman standing by the landing docks wasn't a native. She was way too hot.

She was tall and slender but she had a really curvy figure too (a/n kind of like Niki Taylor). She was wearing a misty-green dress with no sleeves that flowed nearly to the ground. The neckline was low enough to bare the creamy flawless skin at the base of her throat. The tips of pointed shoes just a little darker green peeped out from beneath the dress as she walked along looking at the crew disembarking from each ship, and a thickspun shawl the same deep green was draped over her slender shoulders. Jayne was still standing there with his mouth hanging open when Mal came up and ran into him.

"What's going on?" Mal started to ask tensely but then he saw her too. Jayne was more focused on the mysterious woman's body but Mal's attention was drawn right away to her hair which was like tousled gold. But not like it was messed up by the wind, it looked really good. Really quick Mal looked over at Inara to make sure she was still prettier, and she was but it was really close. Just then the woman noticed the whole  _Serenity_  crew standing there and a really big smile crossed her face showing her perfect white teeth! She ran in a very graceful way like a dancer to the group and threw her arms around Jayne giving him a big hug! "I've finally found you!" she cried delightedly! Jayne staggered a little in shock! Now that the woman was close he also found that a delicate scent wafted around her that he couldn't quite place. It smelled very good though (a/n she has a natural scent like fresh peaches in the morning when dew is still clinging to them, but of course it's hard for the  _Serenity_  crew to come by fresh fruit so they wouldn't know that).

Before anyone could think of something to say, the woman noticed something and let go of Jayne and said incredulously, "River! Is it really you!" and she gave River a big hug too!

River backed away a little and then her eyes opened really wide and she whispered disbelievingly, "Leelee, you've finally come!" and she reached out to hug the stranger!

Simon yelled worriedly, "River who is this?" because he didn't know if they could trust the stranger. It was amazing how River seemed to recognize her! Sometimes Simon couldn't even reach River!

"I'm sorry," apologized the woman quietly, stepping back with tears shimmering in her eyes. They were very beautiful and unusual in color; mostly they shone a clear deep sapphire but they seemed to have a silvery glint as well. "I just never expected this." She swiped at her eyes with a slender pale hand. "I'm Kimberlee Havenworth." Her eyes sapphire-silver eyes were solemn as she turned to face Jayne. "I'm your sister."

All the members of Serenity bellowed loudly, "WHAT!" All but one. Jayne Cobb fell onto the sandy ground in a dead faint.

Mal and Simon and Zoë and Wash and Inara were not too concerned about Jayne and actually thought Jayne fainting was pretty funny. Shepherd Book might have scolded them but he wasn't there, he was on a retreat at a community called "Haven." River turned her head to the side a little like she would see Jayne standing up again from that angle, and Kaylee looked a little bit worried.

"Sorry there, I'm thinkin' I must have misheard," Mal proclaimed soothingly. "Did you just say that you're Jayne's sister?"

Kimberlee gaze him a dazzling white smile and commented helpfully, "Actually, I'm his twin sister. I've been looking for him for almost two years."

This time it was Simon that fainted. River tilted her head to look towards her brother and stated dispassionately, "He's getting his clothes dirty."

Mal sighed tiredly, "Yes he is. Zoë, think you could hunt up some water or something to toss on them?"

Inara rolled her eyes and leaning down lightly hit Simon's face a few times until he groaned and started to sit up. Kaylee followed her example except she hit Jayne a little bit harder than she needed to (a/n lol can't you just see her doing that?).

When Jayne was awake he looked hard at the beautiful woman who had said she was his sister. His mama had told him he had been born with a sister who was taken away with his pa when he left but he (Jayne) could hardly believe this was his old sister. "How?" he whimpered faintly.

River finally straightened up again and reached out to snag one of Kimberlee's dainty wrists. "Inside," she announced abruptly. "For Simon."

While everyone else was trying to follow what she meant Kimberlee chided gently, "Only if it is OK with everyone else, River. But you're right, Simon will probably want some clean clothes." She looked at Mal expectantly.

He flushed under her silver-edged blue gaze and stammered uncertainly, "Oh, yes, please come in Ms. Havenworth."

"Please, call me Kimberlee."

"Kimberlee, then." Mal didn't notice how Inara glared when he smiled at Kimberlee but Kimberlee did. Even though she wasn't a trained Companion like Inara she was still very good at reading people and she was noticing a lot of interesting body language between the two. Kimberlee smiled to herself, she would watch a little more before she did anything but she could already tell they would make a great couple. Since Mal had agreed she allowed River to pull her onto  _Serenity_. River excitedly took Kimberlee from room to room telling her about everything. "This is where Jayne polishes Vera," "This is where Inara kissed Mal when he was unconscious," "This is where I read Sherperd's playing book." The rest of the crew wondered how Kimberlee could understand any of River's disjointed comments but Kimberlee was nodding along with a faint smile. Eventually they returned to the kitchen and it was time for explanations.

Kimberlee began promptly. "When Pa took me away, he took up with some criminal types. They used to go to a richer planet and take a man hostage. Sometimes I was the hook, I remember Pa leaving me than snatching an adult who just came up to find out why I was alone." Her sapphire eyes seemed to dim for a moment; the tear that appeared momentarily at the corner of one sparkled like a liquid diamond. "He left most of my care to others and I always was jealous of those children with real families, as I saw it.

"When I was six Pa and his associates tried their game at a really high-end place, Haven, that turned out to have Alliance protection. They followed Pa and his hostage back to the ship we hid out on and killed the crew. They found me hiding under my cot when they did a sweep for life signs, and made me talk about everything in my life. I heard them kill the others. I thought they would kill me too.

"But they told me to forget my old life, that they would take care of me. I was given to the care of a mid-level Alliance officer on Haven, whose wife couldn't bear children. And they did care for me. When—schools, good, rich schools from good, rich, core worlds—started recruiting me, they were very proud. They wanted the very best for me." That part of the story was very familiar to the crew because of the similarity to what happened to River (a/n if you don't get the reference then why are you reading a  _Firefly_  story?)

Jayne was growing more and more confident that this was indeed his sister. He felt a little pride he didn't really understand at how lovely and smart she was. River, too, hung on to her friend's every word. The rest of the crew was a little bit more skeptical, as they'd been taken in before and nothing she'd said could really be proven. Still, most of them wanted to believe her, except for Inara. She didn't like this Kimerlee Havenworth at all.

Kimberlee looked down at the table, eyes hidden by a curtain of golden locks. Though her voice was low with remembered pain, it still had a gently musical quality. "At first they hurt me. Like they did later to River. But this was earlier. She hadn't come yet." River whimpered and wrung her hands together in a nervous gesture, her gaze fixed on Kimberlee. After a moment, Kimberlee continued, "But pretty soon I discovered—they, they discovered—that when they hurt me I could go away. Leave my body. Just go."

"Sounds bout like a crock of shit," Inara sniffed disdainfully. Mal frowned at Inara, who normally was very polite. He wasn't sure why she seemed to dislike Kimberlee so much….

"I know what it sounds like," Kimberlee hissed angrily at her, but then fell silent for a moment. "They tried to make me …travel… to specific places. They wanted me to travel anytime, not just when I was hurt. And then tell them what I saw." Her haunting murmur grew quieter yet, and everyone leaned in a little bit closer to hear. "Sometimes I did. But there was no control. And when River and the others came, they forgot about me. And I was guilty and glad all at once."

Her gaze darted up to River, who crooned beatifically, "Glad is better," and Kimberlee gaze her a tremulous smile.

Then she continued smoothly, "I was minimum security by then, a disappointment to them. It wasn't very hard to get a guard's keycard and go. But I knew I could never return to the couple who raised me. I was their ward, not their daughter, and they would put the Alliance first. So I began to search for my past. I did any number of odd jobs, whatever I needed to help me get by. Some were better than others. I flew planes, healed folk, pleasured some men, hunted others for the local law. The first step was finding someone who knew Pa. Then I tracked Pa's movements back in time. Eventually I found Mama, and the others. And then I only had one more person to find."

"Me," Jayne stated with awe.

Kimberlee looked up to the tall, powerful brother she'd looked for so long. "You."

Jayne choked up and pulled her into an embrace. " _Meimei_."

She smiled against his sleeve and teased mischievously, "How do you know you are the older one…  _Didi_?" (a/n that means "younger brother" if you didn't know! I took a semester of Chinese and that is in my notebook.)

"You'll stay with us for a spell, right?" Jayne asked hopefully. His whole face lit up at her happy nod.

"Now wait a minute!" Inara surprisingly exclaimed. "How do we know we can trust her? She could be lying to us."

River stated confusedly, "But she is not lying."

Everyone looked to Mal for his decision. "Well," Mal drawled slowly, "Seems wasteful to lose the only one who can translate for River. Should make it a mite easier to keep track of her." He knew from the smiles of most of the crew that he'd made the right decision. He just wished Inara was one of them. He hated it when she was mad at him because he'd only recently admitted to himself something he'd always known: he was in love with her.

Mal knew she could never love him back though, because he was always so mean about her being a Companion. He actually was very proud of all her accomplishments, and he liked how independent she was, and smart, and never let him get away with being stupid. But he could never, ever pay someone he loved for sex, and he got so angry and jealous at the men she had. He was so angry when it was obvious she didn't love him that he took out his anger on her. And she would never want him now after some of the things he had said. It was amazing she stayed with  _Serenity_  at all. Maybe… maybe even though he would always love her, it was past time he tried to move on.

Inara couldn't believe Mal was allowing the stranger to stay. She didn't understand how he could be so blind. Well, actually, if he was blind they wouldn't be having this problem, would they? Oh, she'd seen how his eyes were on  _Kimberlee_. She saw how effortlessly everyone else was taken in, but she was a Companion. She could detect lies and body language the others could not. In the meantime, she would keep an eye on Miss Kimberlee Havenworth, and find out what she was up to. When Havenworth made her play, Inara would be ready.

But as the days turned into weeks and into months even, Kimberlee did nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. She spent a lot of time with River and Jayne, as would be expected. But Simon also grew friendly with her as he spent as much time as he could with his sister. When Simon was injured in a plan that went decidedly awry, Kimberlee saw to his injuries with cool, no-nonsense efficiency. Mal had offhandedly commented, "Good to have someone else on hand with medical know-how," and that was as close as Mal Reynolds usually got to giving thanks.

With Simon less stressed about River, he got a little bit less uptight and Kaylee noticed for sure. They finally stopped dancing around each other, and with Kimberlee helping him to avoid putting his foot into his mouth all the time around Kaylee, romance was blossoming.

To give Zoë and Wash more time together Kimberlee started flying  _Serenity_  on a regular basis. One day when Kimberlee pulled off a particularly spectacular move to evade a disgruntled client from the moon Haven, Inara was trapped in the cockpit with her (Inara tried to be there at the same as Kimberlee to make sure she didn't change the coordinates or anything). As Kimberlee manipulated the controls, she exulted joyfully, "I am a leaf on the wind; watch how I soar!" She thought Kimberlee had just heard the phrase from Wash, but Wash was as surprised as anyone the next time Kimberlee said it. He seemed to regard her as a kindred spirit after that.

Kimberlee also spent a lot of time with Kaylee in the engine room. Kimberlee didn't know "much" about mechanics though she knew abut a much as any good pilot would. Mostly she kept Kaylee company while working, ofen singing to her ballads from the many worlds she'd been to. Inara had to admit to herself that Kimberlee had an astonshingly beautiful voice, that sounded clear and bell-like. Still, Inara bristled to hear Kimberlee sing the old love ballad, "Song of the Companion":

_Soft voice, soft hair  
_ _Bring your gold, I'll meet you there_

_Fair voice, light step  
_ _At the place where we first met_

_Gathered skirt and dainty wrist  
_ _I promise, dear one, you were missed_

_Night sky, long goodbye  
_ _I only stay behind your eyes_

_Though now I go, steps on stones_  
 _I'll come right back when you're alone_  
 _Now anon, coins chiming gold  
_ _Bye and bye, stone steps on stone._

"Oh," Kaylee whispered reverently, "That was so beautiful. I'll bet you could make enough money to live on just by singing."

Kimberlee murmured almost wistfully, "Perhaps I could. But the best music is molded of joy, not duty." It irritated Inara to agree with Kimerlee Havenworth about anything, but in this case she was forced to.

As for Jayne, his utter devotion to Kimberlee was complete when he happened upon her studiously cleaning her personal weapon, a smooth brown pistol with delicate engravings, which Kimberlee had christianed "Vera." Although Jayne's beloved "Vera" was enormous and couldn't look more different from the elegant little pistol, everyone was quick to point to it as a "twin thing" (a/n I found a really pretty picture of an antique pistol online that I picture as Kimberlee's gun. If anyone wants to see it I can send you the picture or a link to the page).

So everyone on  _Serenity_  except for Inara realy liked Kimberlee a lot. Inara wondered where she had gone so wrong. She felt like an outsider to the close-knit group now. Sometimes she saw Mal and Kimberlee eating together or laughing together and she realized her chance was gone.

Then one day everything changed. As  _Serenity_  was passing Haven, they were spotted by an Alliance patrol. Wash tried every flying trick he knew but it was no use. They were driven into a trap and forced and forced to a halt. "Surrender" the Alliance Commander bellowed arrogantly.

Before Mal could even weigh his options and decide what to do, Kimerlee's eyes rolled back in her head and she fell gracefully to the floor. Everyone rushed over to her and Jayne gasped in shock because for the first time ever her eyes were completely silver. Her mouth moved soundelessly a few times.

"Something—something's happening—" Wash stammered disbelievingly. "The Alliance ship is—moving away! It's headed right for---Reavers!"

Wash did his best to compleely cloak  _Serenity_. They all waited in tense and silent confusion for several minutes, watching the Alliance ship go steadily towards its doom. The Reavers attacked it. A minute later a large, terrible gash suddenly appeared from Kimberlee's right collarbone slashing all the way down and across her chest towards her left hip, and she gave a choked cry. Her long lashes fluttered, and sapphire returned to her eyes. "Leave now," she gasped brokenly, and Wash hastened to take them far, far away from the terrible scene.

But there was no escaping Kimberlee's injuries. It was obvious to everyone, even Jayne, that Kimberlee was far beyond any help Simon could have given her. The best he could do was keep her alive long enough to say her goodbyes.

To Simon- "Do not forget to live." He grimaced and applied more pressure.

To Kaylee- "Keep making your own music, for me." Kaylee sniffed and nodded.

To Zoë- "Goodbye,  _Pengyou_ " (a/n that means "friend")

To Wash-"And now I'll really soar."

To Mal- "Keep your promise. I'll be watching."

To River- "Ah  _Meimei_ , it is no goodbye."

"Of course," River retorted bluntly, though her eyes looked wet.

She said nothing to Inara, but smiled at her kindly.

And to Jayne-"No regrets,  _Didi_. Love you, love---" her voice faded.

"No!" Jayne screamed in denial. "No, don't go!" But Simon lowered his head and then gently closed Kimberlee's eyes, the sapphire-silver disappearing for the last time. They didn't know how, but they understood enough—that somehow she had tricked the Alliance soldiers away, and saved them all.

They were really close to a planet so Jayne insisted they stop and give Kimberlee a proper burial. She was dressed in a white dress with simple, elegant lines, and a few white flowers (because the planet Haven fortunately did have flowers) in her golden hair. It looked just a little too smooth Inara thought as she tied in the blossoms, so she reached out and lightly tousled the golden locks. There. Now it looked more like Kimberlee. Inara's throat suddenly grew tight.

Everyone except River helped to dig the grave. River sat beside her friend, holding her cold hand. When hey were about to lower Kimberlee into the grave, River suddenly turned and looked at Kaylee and prompted knowingly, "You can give it. She would like it."

Kaylee blushed but finally pulled out a twist of metal, a minor component of the engine she'd had to replace when it melted beyond repair. She'd shaped the metal into an image of a flower. It was rough and raw and strangely elegant in a way very true of the people of  _Serenity_ themselves. Inara knew instantly that Kimberlee would have loved it and found it a fitting tribute.

They stood facing the quiet grave for a few minutes, then Jayne unexpectedly cleared his throat and sang a lament. His voice was gravelly and rusty and not at all like his sister's, but he did manage to hold the tune. It was a lament none of them had ever heard before, perhaps from Jayne's home planet. It went:

_Sweep, sweep away_  
 _the tears you cried_  
 _Sweep the ashes_  
 _for the fire has died_  
 _My hold on you has loosened, true_  
 _I wander now in endless blue_  
 _My features fading, rumor said_  
 _Funeral flowers crown my head_  
 _Think not of cold bells, howls or cries_  
 _But keep on living, be my eyes_  
 _I'm sorry, love, to leave you here_  
 _yet have no fear, for I am near_  
 _And while it storms now  
_ _soon skies will clear…_

He stared down at the simple marker for several minutes and then said emotionlessly, "Well, let's go." Exchanging a look, the others followed.

That night Mal turned up in Inara's shuttle, looking uneasy. They made a few moments of awkward smalltalk until Inara said questioningly, "What was your promise?"

"What?"

"The promise Kimberlee wanted you to keep."

A strange look crossed Mal's face. "She made me promise to tell you how I feel. About you."

Inara's heart jumped into her throat. "And how's that?"

Mal forced himself to meet her eyes. "Isn't it obvious? I'm in love with you."

It was not the best circumstnces of course and he fumbled over the delivery. But it was a start. Kimberlee lived on in little ways. In the little flowers and animals made from scrap metal that Kaylee decorated with. In the songs Zoë hummed to herself as she went about the ship. And in Kimberlee's pistol Vera, which Jayne kept oiled and polished and in a place of honor among his own weapons.

And as the small Firefly-class ship hurtled through the vastness of space, not everything was yet all right. Yet there was also hope, and the comforting knowledge they would get there, somehow, someday.


End file.
